Not pretty enough.

Isn't she gorgeous?" I heard his voice from the other side of the room. I could feel my heart twisting in my chest and I could swear a great, big stone feel from the heaven right into my stomach. I put my head down letting my hair cover my face. I felt horrible.

Even though there were only two girls in the room i know for sure he wasn't talking about me.

I think it is horrible that so many girls don't feel pretty enough. Some of them don't feel pretty at all. It might be the nose, chin maybe weight. Many of us have their own list of insecurities that goes on and on and on. But when does it start?

Well, usually it starts in school with you and that one girl that is loved by everyone. Her skin is perfect, she has rose chicks and you have all the rights to suspect her teeth are straighter than the ruler. Boys loved her. Maybe they didn't knew it yet, but they put all their attention into her. They pulled her perfectly braided hair and took away her pencils. And deep down in your heart you felt jealous,  and that didn't felt right. You looked at her then at yourself and even though you were 6 you didn't feel pretty at all.

The moment you start having doubts about yourself the bullies come. Just like the shark can feel the tiniest drop of blood they can sense the first sights of insecurities. They point out all your weak points, telling you the same things over, and over and over again. They create a monster inside your head and they feed him with their nasty comments and loud laughs. They go with the graduations but the monster has too much fun to leave you behind.

It might be years later but the monster is still with you. He created a very comfy spot in your head and he uses every chance to remind you that if someone is looking at you it is probably because you look funny,  if someone is laughing he is laughing at you. He wants you scared. He can't afford a chance of losing his comfortable spot.

But it is time to let go. For him. For you. For me.
It is time to hold your chin up and thrown the monster's bags away.

You are gorgeous honey and believe me you are just as beautiful as any of your girl crushes. The difference between you and her is the she probably believes in it herself.
So believe in it. Wear the clothes you always wanted, put on the make up you were willing to try but you weren't confident enough and tell yourself you are pretty everyday.

The magic won't happen instantly. The monster didn't grew within the very first comment.
Now it is your turn to scare him away.


  1. Thanks for commenting on my blog love! Ugh I went through the same thing! Be strong bb xx


  2. So true! It's time to leave those negative thoughts aside. Everyone is beautiful! You just have to have confidence in you!

  3. This was really beautiful Weronika, really really well written. I definitely can relate, both in not feeling pretty enough and also with my arm (was born without one) I always had the experience of not being the girl that the guys were into. It's really true that even though all that stuff is technically "left" behind in school, it really isn't and the demeans and insecurities follow you for much longer than that. This post made me want to reach through the screen and give you a big hug though because I seriously relate so much and know how difficult insecurities are. They eat at you from the inside out. I think you're beautiful though, for what it's worth.


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